When the President of the United States talks, people listen, so when Barack Obama let it slip he thought perma-douche Kanye West was a “Jackass” after his Cognac-driven diatribe on Sunday, you knew that would become a label that would probably stick.
Unfortunately in these uncivil times, Kanye is not alone, as just this past weekend has demonstrated. We’re seemingly up to our elbows with Jackasses.
So – the NFL season is set to start on Thursday and the main topic of conversation is about a bisexual former Playboy playmate and reality star and full-time publicity hound named Tila Tequila.
Naturally.
Are you ready for some foolishness?
Two remarkable performances that took place virtually simultaneously stood out above all others this past weekend – and both were only for second place.
Perhaps never before have there been two such magnificent losers.
One in Scotland, the other in Switzerland, the sporting world were riveted as these living legends attempted to turn back their respective clocks, only to both came up just the teeniest bit short.
Mar 3rd, 2009 – As the Groin Pulls
It’s one of the annual traditions of spring training. Writers may wax poetic on the green grass, the bluer than blue skies and the endless possibilities each team may have for the upcoming season– but what baseball in March is really all about are hip-adductors, namely the adductor longus, adductor brevis, adductor magnus, gracilis, and pectineusmuscles tearing, as out of shape ball players try to run from here to there.
There is a lone African American out there who all are turning to. The ship has gone terribly off course – especially over the past few months – and only he apparently can set it straight.
It wasn’t long ago where everyone was prospering, the banks were lined up, flush with cash to contribute their bit to the cause. Now most are all but insolvent, corporations are falling left and right and things appear to be almost hopeless.
Is there any other sport that better encapsulates the times we are in than stock car racing?
Just look at this past weekend’s signature event.
Labeled the “Great American Race,” Sunday’s Daytona 500 wasn’t great, and could hardly be called a race. But one thing it was for sure, it was American.
The angst, the outrage, the fan uprising, the media frenzy.
What about you? Shocked? Feeling letdown? Is baseball over for you?
Well, get over yourself. Everyone should have known years ago had we only been paying attention.
Thanks Super Bowl – now February gets to piss us off even more than usual.
The month that lingers on like a BBQ stain on a white T has just become even more onerous because all we have is a great game (the greatest game?) to look back upon – and little to look forward to.
You think athletes have the biggest egos in the world? Then you’ve never met a former athlete who becomes a TV commentator. Labeling them as “Know it All’s” is barely sufficient.
